Jesus Body Found in Tomb

Right next to Moses, Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Crazy Old Man

A recent Discovery Channel documentary claims to have found the body of Jesus. Produced by James Cameron, producer and director of other famed documentaries such as Titanic, Terminator, and Aliens, the documentary examines the legitimacy of a series of coffins, recently rediscovered in storage. “It is pretty obvious that this is for real,” asserts director Simcha Jacobovici. “I mean, the coffin has his name on it. And if that wasn’t enough, there is also a picture. There is no way it isn’t Jesus.”

Increasing the credibility of the find were several other coffins found in the same location as Jesus’. “Along with the body of Christ, we found the bodies of Santa, Moses, the Tooth Fairy and a Crazy Old Man,” Jacobovici exclaimed. “What are the chances of finding all these ossuaries together? The facts don’t lie. Based on the evidence,” Jacobovici concluded, “we’re pretty sure Jimmy Hoffa’s body is somewhere nearby.”

U of S Professor of Religious Studies and Lutheran Campus Centre chaplain Pr. Layton Quiche believes the findings have little relevance to Christianity, remarking “Who cares?” Quiche ended his in-depth analysis by saying “It’s actually a good thing the coffins had names as well as pictures, otherwise we may have mistaken Moses for just another Crazy Old Man.”

The coffins were found stacked precariously in the traditional burial method of ancient religious figures and fictional beings.

Despite the overwhelming evidence, some are critical of the discovery. “There’s no evidence this is real,” asserts one skeptic. “Jesus, Santa and Moses were very common names. Everybody and their dog has claimed to be the Tooth Fairy. Everybody has at least one grandfather who could be classified as a Crazy Old Man.” Pr. Quiche quickly added “Many people think I’m a Crazy Old Man.”