Student Perspectives

LTS has a new student union president – but is it a good thing?

Earlier this spring, Mason Kinko, no relation to the founders of the photocopying giant, was elected president of the Lutheran Theological Students’ Union at the Lutheran Theological Seminary. In order to maintain its journalistic integrity, the Travestical tried to get two imaginary students whom have different perspectives comment on Mr. Kinko’s presidency. Unfortunately, the Travestical found little variance in student’s opinions. Again and again, students asked us rhetorically “Who actually voted for this guy?” Since we had already done the layout for this issue and are two lazy to change it, here are the (only slightly varying) perspectives of two concerned students.

He’s a tyrant!
Ever since Mason took over, everything is so tense – a reflection of his personality, I am sure! I warned everyone, but they said “oh no, he’ll ease up once he gets a taste of power.” So much for that thought! He runs his ship so tight it’s about to burst! If we want something on the agenda, we have to hand it in, in writing, 7 business days before our next meeting – and if something isn’t on the agenda, there’s no way we’re gonna talk about it! In a meeting, if someone raises a point contrary to Kinko’s personal agenda, Kinko immediately rules it out of order. In giving his reasoning, sometimes he just starts mumbling gibberish! Like one of those crazy Viagra ads! What’s next, constitutional amendments giving Kinki solitary control of the union’s finances, and allowing him to remain union president during his internship and after graduation?

New student union president Mason Kinko, wearing his infamous “Listen Up” shirt. Kinko is known for wearing the shirt to union meetings, and pointing emphatically at his chest while yelling to gain student’s attention.

He’s a pawn!
It’s pretty obvious what’s really going on here. Mason is just a puppet, being used push another’s agenda forward. The puppeteer, you ask? His wife, Konair, of course. I mean, look at Mason. He’s just a scrawny, shell of a president. She’s calling all the shots. We all know nobody voted for Mason, and he’s not inventive enough to rig an election himself. Nope, it had to be Konair. She looks innocent enough, but I bet instead of a gooey inside underneath that sweet shell there’s a feisty, go-getter.

I don’t really care about the union, I actually didn’t even vote, so all this doesn’t really bother me. [I don’t go to the meetings, so why should I care how they are run?] I do, though, appreciate Mason’s attention to the details of language: specifically, his insistence that “Burger and a Beer” be changed to “Burger and Beers.”