LSM Exec wallows in nepotism
Tiller family eyes Lutheran empire
“How could we let this happen?” cried one student. “They all seem so innocent. How could we have known?”
This sentiment sums up feelings around the Lutheran Campus Centre after students, in a rare moment of lucidity and clarity, began to realize the Lutheran Student’s Movement executive had been hijacked.
“The Tiller family has taken complete control of the exec and is using their powers to push forward a self-serving agenda,” cried another student, who has since gone missing.
The Tiller family began their rise to power inconspicuously enough, when Teleah and Brendra Tiller moved into the student housing at the Campus Centre. During their two-year stay, the girls developed a close relationship with then-chaplain Bonita Strictenstern. This relationship opened the door for the Tiller’s rise to domination.
Upon graduating from high school, Robby and Jaquelle followed their elder sibling to Saskatoon. The four moved into their current Lindsay Dr headquarters. The Tillers soon made their move to completely dominate the Campus Centre. All four rigged elections and became key members of the LSM exec, with Teleah taking control of the all-important and all-powerful position of president.
The group quickly moved to secure power, using the LSM Constitution as their vehicle, making several important changes in September of 2006, during the reign of Teleah. Several changes, allowing the Tiller’s to enforce their wills, were implemented, including:- a quorum requirement was removed for the AGM (allowing the Tiller’s to run the AGM without others present).
- Several application/discussion processes were removed in favor of executive appointments, such as a first-year executive Member at Large and the replacement of vacant executive positions, allowing the Tillers to appoint Tiller-friendly executive members.
- Quorum for Executive meetings was changed to a majority of executive members, and the executive size was changed to 6 – 10 members – allowing the Tillers, plus their appointed allies, to push through their agenda with little resistance.
- The Elections Committee is no longer responsible for ensuring “the election is run in a manner acceptable to the membership.”
- Also added: “Any complaints regarding elections practices will be dealt with by the Elections Committee,” the very people who put those election practices into place.
Power becomes happiness: the Tiller family, clockwise from top-right: Teleah, Brendra, Robby, and Jaquelle. What do you mean it looks like we photoshopped Teleah’s head onto someone else’ body? What a preposterous proposition!
Pr. Raul Hartidaughter seems oblivious to the Tiller’s power radius. “They’ve always been quite nice to me,” Hartidaughter quips, staring at the framed picture of the Tillers above his desk. “Robby and Teleah, those engineering students, even offered to redesign my house, and even do the renovations, for free! How could I not love them!”
The Travestical was equally alarmed to learn that Teleah and Robby’s parents recently moved to Saskatoon. In the short months they have been here, Red Tiller, their father, has already taken up a key position on the Church Management Team at Good Shepherd Lutheran church.
The threat of the Tiller’s ever-expanding power paints the future of the Lutheran church in Saskatoon a darker shade of grey. Only time will tell if the Tiller’s power will continue to rise, overshadowing and engulfing all who oppose their domination.
Student Perspectives
LTS has a new student union president – but is it a good thing?
Earlier this spring, Mason Kinko, no relation to the founders of the photocopying giant, was elected president of the Lutheran Theological Students’ Union at the Lutheran Theological Seminary. In order to maintain its journalistic integrity, the Travestical tried to get two imaginary students whom have different perspectives comment on Mr. Kinko’s presidency. Unfortunately, the Travestical found little variance in student’s opinions. Again and again, students asked us rhetorically “Who actually voted for this guy?” Since we had already done the layout for this issue and are two lazy to change it, here are the (only slightly varying) perspectives of two concerned students.
He’s a tyrant!
Ever since Mason took over, everything is so tense – a reflection of his personality, I am sure! I warned everyone, but they said “oh no, he’ll ease up once he gets a taste of power.” So much for that thought! He runs his ship so tight it’s about to burst! If we want something on the agenda, we have to hand it in, in writing, 7 business days before our next meeting – and if something isn’t on the agenda, there’s no way we’re gonna talk about it! In a meeting, if someone raises a point contrary to Kinko’s personal agenda, Kinko immediately rules it out of order. In giving his reasoning, sometimes he just starts mumbling gibberish! Like one of those crazy Viagra ads! What’s next, constitutional amendments giving Kinki solitary control of the union’s finances, and allowing him to remain union president during his internship and after graduation?
New student union president Mason Kinko, wearing his infamous “Listen Up” shirt. Kinko is known for wearing the shirt to union meetings, and pointing emphatically at his chest while yelling to gain student’s attention.
It’s pretty obvious what’s really going on here. Mason is just a puppet, being used push another’s agenda forward. The puppeteer, you ask? His wife, Konair, of course. I mean, look at Mason. He’s just a scrawny, shell of a president. She’s calling all the shots. We all know nobody voted for Mason, and he’s not inventive enough to rig an election himself. Nope, it had to be Konair. She looks innocent enough, but I bet instead of a gooey inside underneath that sweet shell there’s a feisty, go-getter.
I don’t really care about the union, I actually didn’t even vote, so all this doesn’t really bother me. [I don’t go to the meetings, so why should I care how they are run?] I do, though, appreciate Mason’s attention to the details of language: specifically, his insistence that “Burger and a Beer” be changed to “Burger and Beers.”
Union demands not as they seem
Strike targets “fatties” in union
On Friday, Nov. 2nd, the union representing service workers at the University of Saskatchewan, CUPE 1975, walked off the job and began walking the picket line along College Drive. Having been without a contract since December 2006, one is not surprised by the union’s surface demands for a fair and progressive contract. Always the bastion of investigatory journalism, the Travestical has discovered the deeper, more sinister reasons for the union’s job action.
Concerned about recent studies regarding Canadian’s high levels of obesity, and unsatisfied to offer a voluntary exercise program, union leaders decided to make union members walk the picket line. “The average person walks 5km/hr,” claims union leader Rad McKeg. “That same, average person will burn 255 calories/hr at that same, average speed. During their four hour shifts on the picket line, that’s 732 more calories than they would burn sitting on their [expletive deleted] doing nothing.”
Many picketers brandished signs that subtly hinted at the union’s underlying motives.
Blogger neglects updates
Former Lutheran Campus Centre abstainer Konair “G-dog” Barkbark, currently interning in Paris, France, has neglected to regularly update his blog, much to the dismay of his family and friends. When questioned on the subject, Konair quipped: “I’m just too busy chasing Parisian whores, drinking wine, eating baguettes, and disregarding personal hygiene.”
Power becomes happiness: the Tiller family, clockwise from top-right: Teleah, Brendra, Robby, and Jaquelle. What do you mean it looks like we photoshopped Teleah’s head onto someone else’ body? What a preposterous proposition!
